When I was thirteen years old, I was immersed in a little video game called Chrono Cross. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? Well, I was so excited; I was close to the end and well past the halfway point. I remember crossing over into the other dimension and getting through the futuristic city.
What made this game sweeter was that was going to be the first to beat a game in my household before my Nintendo-obsessed younger brother. Victory! Except… he deleted my game. Yep. Completely erased it. He wanted to beat it first, and he did. Then I did something completely bonkers. I never played the game again.
All those hours I spent getting my team together, looking in hidden crevices for bonus items and humorous character interactions, downing bosses and progressing through the story line. It had all been stolen from me. It made absolutely no sense to me at the time to do it all over again. The second time would just be a rush job to catch up to where I left off, and I would miss a lot of the various extra parts of the game I had done already. Surely, my second run would not live up to the first, so I cut my losses and called it a day.
I realized today that my blog suffered the same fate. If you’re not familiar with my last post (which was way too long ago), here’s a short recap: I had a blog built into a portfolio site. I got a job, no longer needed the portfolio site and let it die to save money. Went to start free blog. All previous blog content with old blog vanished.
So here I am, just like in the game, back at square one. It hurts, like I’m missing a piece of my heart. I had many great posts, observations about my budding writer self, my writing and scraps of poetry, none of which I can recover. It wasn’t until today that I realized the funk I’d been stewing in over my blog was the very same that I felt after losing Chrono Cross. I’d even go so far as to say that it’s a form of pouting.
No. I’m not going to let my blog go over hard feelings. Once I made that connection, I realized that I needed to put my big-girl panties on and just. move. on. I can’t get my old blog back. Maybe I can rewrite the exceptionally few posts that I do remember. But whether or not I do or don’t shouldn’t stop me from making my blog into something new.
New. New seems to be the name of the game for me right now. I’ve been in my new apartment for 3 weeks now. I finished my first novel and am moving into the scary and exhilarating query phase. NaNoWriMo is coming up, and I have a complete set of characters and plot to work with that I’ve been ruminating on for months now. I failed NaNoWriMo last year, but that wont happen this year. New is what the blog should be.
So, cheers, y’all (I might be a New Yorker, but I grew up with a step-dad from Georgia – I’m allowed) on a new blog for a new direction in my life.